Do you remember me

I said that to you over and over tonight, as if to jog your memory a little bit more about our past.

Sixteen years it's been, between you and me. And here we are, on the precipice of your 40th birthday. I was just 19 when we met, and you were a deliciously pervy 23.

I remember it all. I remember meeting you in June of 1993, after many months of very difficult times I had in other various relationships. I met you, that June, and all of the past melted away into trifles of boys versus this MAN. This MAN who suddenly showed up in my life, at my place of work, and in my consciousness that I couldn't escape.

And just now, you slipped into bed, and we joked that I'm writing so late at night. I said, "No! You can't read it!" And you said, "Well, I took my glasses off, so you'll have to adjust the point size quite a bit for me to see." And that, my love, is just a bit of the love we have between us. I can write drippings of love stories about you, or scandalous untold nothings, and you wouldn't care. You just know.

You remember me.

I remember being with you for such a short amount of time before your birthday suddenly appeared. I hadn't known anyone like you before. How the HELL do you shop for someone as odd and perplexing and utterly fascinating, and might I add sexy?, as you?! I had no idea how to please you. If I had only known that it really didn't take much, then I could have saved myself the trouble. Ah, but that's the rub. That's where we diverge and where you understand me.

You know that I never make it easy.

I drove around that week, not knowing what would please you. For Pete's sake, I had lost so many BOYS so recently in my life, that I couldn't lose this MAN that I had suddenly found. I couldn't fuck up his birthday, right? I was just a college girl in a rural area. What the hell did I know?

I drove around, and thought and thought. I drove and drove. I don't think you'll ever really know how much I thought and drove, and then drove and thought.

And then I saw it. I don't think anyone will understand, really, what stopped me that day. I can imagine your mother being appalled by what stopped me in my car. I can imagine my friends scratching their heads and trying to figure out which medication I should be on.

It just made sense.

I saw it in the window. I was in downtown Seguin, across from the biggest pecan in the world. I was across from a slew of antique stores, who SHOULD STILL BE THERE, SEGUIN! IF YOU WOULD ONLY LEARN TO SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESS AND WHAT IT MEANT TO YOUR COMMUNITY.

But I digress.

A week or so later, I parked the car and walked to the antique store. I remember being very nervous, as I had never been in an antique store before. Fer Chriss' sakes, what do you expect from a nineteen year old?

I asked the woman if she still had the item I had seen in the window. No, she said. And then I wondered, really? How many of these things are in demand? Are they flying off the shelves and causing farmers to knock each other over in panicked pandemonium?

And just now, you snored a little, just like you always do when you're flat on your back after a little bit of wine and good times on a Saturday night. Normally, I would nudge you and say, "Turn on your side."

But not tonight.

And then I went to the store next door. She had one, she said. I waited and waited, as the clerk went to the back of the store to find this thing, this large and precious gift that I had so wanted to give you, even if it didn't make sense.

And then I had it.

I don't remember if I wrapped it. Could I have? What an odd thing to wrap with paper. I remember driving forever, from Seguin to my home, and then to your place. I remember your reaction. You loved it. You absolutely and truly loved it.

And that's when I knew. I knew that I could please you, and I knew that I wanted to go out of my way to find that impossible SOMETHING to please you for every year to come. I knew, from that day forward, that this freak of a man that I had stumbled upon was exactly the man I needed.

I remember you.

And I want to remember every bit of you, and us, and the three of us, from this day forward.

Forever and ever.

I love you, Bert. You are my man. You are my fish. You, in every way, are the best thing that ever crossed my path.

Happy Birthday, Bert. Happy Birthday from me, your son, and every year we've been together. I remember you. And that, my love, is the best gift I could ever have when I think about us.