Coffee Dude, part deux

Well, I thought I was being too catty in the last blog, but I seem to have hit a nerve and a chuckle bone with a few of you who are well aware of empty biz-lingo speak. You ams my people.

So, Qwest decided to put off our glorious Internet at home because a third-party verifier made their verifying call to us too late (huh? wuh?). So, we wait until tomorrow for the wireless juices to flow within our abode.

In the meantime, I'm back at the coffee shop with my menfolk. We went to the playground and now Amos is mixing chess pieces with dominos. I'm sure there are old men sitting in Central Park right now who feel the mixed game vibe that Amos is sending through the air, and those men are simultaneously falling over from their concrete chairs and having heart attacks and/or some sort of exuberant spasms.

Or not.

As luck would have it, Coffee Dude is here again. Phil says the guy has been here since this morning. Perhaps Qwest has besmirched his good name as well. I suspect, however, that Sweetie has kicked him to the curb for wearing all brown from head to foot.

Yes. All brown. The same shade of dark, coffee house brown. If I wasn't able to observe the tail of his shirt, I'd swear that he's wearing a one-piece jumpsuit.

I'm going to guess that outfits like that combined with paradigm shifts, confluences, leveraging, and innovation are the reason that his venture capitalist buddy didn't want to bite the bagel.

So, here's why I appreciate Phil. I just observed his work e-mails, and someone he communicates with uses phrases such as major release, regression tests, public query, and release notes. See, that could potentially be really annoying coming out of someone's mouth (especially Coffee Dude), but Phil doesn't use these words (well, "major release" may have been uttered in our bedroom - hachachacha!). And for that, I love this man.

You know, Coffee Dude is bringing out my inner cattiness, and for that I should probably thank him. I look forward to coming here tomorrow to see what shade of puke he is donning. Will I perchance get to listen to another of his brilliant speeches?

I'll leave you with this. This morning, when Phil told me on the phone, "The guy you wrote about is here again, about three tables away," I asked him, "Um. You better hope he didn't hear you." "Um. I hope not."

So, then I spent the morning wondering what the chain of events would be if Coffee Dude HAD heard him. Would there be a confrontation? Would Phil try to calm Coffee Dude by saying, "Naw, man, she said some great stuff about you."? Would Coffee Dude demand to see this writing and then Phil would be forced to say, "Well, at least she edited out the parts where she called you a douchebag."? And would Coffee Dude then try to have fisticuffs with Phil, perhaps box him about the ears? How long would it take before I would hear of these grand tales of mayhem in the coffee house?!

As you can imagine, I was anxiously loading up the stroller as I pondered this, hoping that I would catch man-on-man, coffee-flinging barbarism over my blog.

Sadly, there was none. Maybe tomorrow.