So, randomly on Twitter I asked people to remind Phil that he should do me before my lady friend comes to town. I think you know what I'm saying.
Then I gained Twitter followers. Conclusion: sex sells. It sells on Twitter, TV, movies, and Craigslist (well, not anymore, so they say).
Then I got to thinkin'.
Do you ever encounter things that really are very nonsexy when someone intended for it to be so? Yeah, me, too.
Example: Just about every episode of "Real Sex" on HBO. Seriously. Fat old hippies dressed as horses and pulling horse carts while other fat old hippies smack the "horsies"? Fat old hippies breathing loudly and flapping their fat old hippie parts at a nudist camp?
I watch "Real Sex" for the creep factor.
And then there are the folks who are so ashamed of their organs that the only way they can talk dirty is to say, "Put it in my sex." "Rub my sex." "Touch my sex with your sex through the hole in the sheet and then put your sex in or near my sex but not in the eyes of God."
What? Put it where? In what? Can you point to it on this doll?
And then I got to thinkin' some more.
What's up with men not caring about their lady's bits? Do men like that still exist? Why won't the fellas go downtown? Are they afraid of their lady's sex?
I actually had one of them tell me once in an intimate setting, "But I can't put my mouth where you pee."
Now THAT is sexy talk.
Phil, on the other hand, has no problem with the proximity of my pee parts to my sex. A lot of men could learn a thing or two from Phil. Maybe he should open up a shop on Colfax or just set up a booth where he says, "Psst! Hey, fella! For a dollar I'll tell you how to kiss the pee parts!"
Okay. Maybe that's not the way he should phrase that on Colfax.
But, you see where I'm going with this. Men, get with the program. Go downtown. Stop at the Y. Swirl and then counterclockwise swirl. Jot down the crib notes and get to gettin'.
That reminds me. Someone tell Phil to get to gettin'. I need his sex on my sex.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Completely nonsexy in a nonsexy kind of way
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10 beautiful people muttered something back:
And if you wrote this on Twitter, you'd have thousands of followers!
You slay me!
When InherentPassion is done with the sex book I think she should pass the marathon challenge to you. :)
I missed any Twitter hints, but mission accomplished nonetheless, eh? Wink, wink! Nudge, nudge! Say no more!
Suzanne - HA! There are a lot of things I could do on Twitter to gain the masses, but sometimes a girl needs standards. Sometimes, I have a few. Sometimes, not.
Marge - Sex book? Huh? Where? Who? The lady Inherent Passion?! MUST. INVESTIGATE!
Phil "dines well at the Y" - Meow! RRRRoar! Pffffft! Pffffffft!
I'm a satisfied lady on this fine day.
I think you should all pass around Mile High Mamas' infamous sex challenge. :-)
I will be happy to proffer up the book when we are done with it. Chris is currently reading and reads at what we like to call his own special pace. Once I get it (the book that is) I will read it with my usual frenzied pace of reading and gladly hand it off to the Imaginarys of the Porter variety. Also, I am not starting the challenge until I read the book. NaBloPoMo and the Yoga challenge are really all I can handle right now.
Not all guys are against going downtown, y'know. I'm one of them who does and enjoys doing so. Just sayin'.
I'm British I couldn't possibly comment on this subject.
I was in hysterics when I read "pee parts"
Oh my you are funny!
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