Seeking cold pockets of joy

Ugh. The dog days of summer. The time when I curl up under a single sheet on the bed, flailing this way and that to find a cool spot on the mattress. Bleah. At times like this, I would like to be amphibian. Or reptile.

It hasn't been discussed, but we may have officially given up on watering the lawn. Denver is incredibly dry this year, and our poor pseudo-lawn and xeriscape plants have suffered. Xeriscape plants can suffer, you say? Oh yes, young one. When exposed to sun at this altitude and put under the care of the neglectful Porters, anything is possible. I'm not saying that you shouldn't visit and that we won't water you, but uh... maybe.

Amos' single tooth continues to threaten us with its deadly sharp edges. He delights in having me feel his little calcium nugget and proclaim, "Tooth! Amos has a tooth!"

I told Phil last night that this is the only time in Amos' life that he will have just one tooth. Then we both looked at each other, and I said, "Well, hopefully." Let's not encourage Cletus to neglect his mouth hygiene.

I'm thankful that his teeth are finally making an appearance. We've had Amos on the dental plan since January, thinking that he might be like others his age who had mouths full of teeth that were already covered in gold and diamond encrusted grills. Not so for Amos.

Although Amos has three other teeth threatening to show up on the scene, what does a dentist do for just one tooth? Do we learn how to brush one tooth, and then show Amos how to floss on each side of it? Do we buy whitening stripes and then cut them down to size and wrap that one tooth over and over until it gleams? Do we allow Amos to puncture canned goods like an old-timey can opener? Maybe he could punch decorative holes in a copper sheet so that I can have a pie safe like my grandmammy used to have.

Whatever new uses we find for that tooth, I know which one I am ruling out: chewing on my finger. He has already maimed my index finger with that fang. This might be the first time I am thankful that I stopped breastfeeding him.