A conversation with Phil prompted me to share this ditty with you.
What is the worst song ever made? Really think about this. There are some fantastic crappers out there. Some songs might be catchy, but the lyrics are awful and downright hysterical. Some didn't even try to be catchy. Just awful.
Phil's choice: "Naughty Naughty" by John Parr. Do you remember that one? It's even sillier when Phil sings it. "Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, t-t-t-t-tease me..."
I can't decide upon just one. Too hard to pick. There are lovely gems like Judas Priest screaming, "I'm your turbo loverrrrrrr. Tell me there's no otherrrrrrrrr."
Then, of course, we have Foreigner. Good ol' Foreigner.
"Are you hot, mama? You sure look that way to me." Followed promptly by, "Are you old enough?"
Is anyone else taken aback that Billy Ray Cyrus was able to eek out a career after this disaster: "Don't tell my heart, my achy break heart..." completely with hideous dance maneuvers and mullet?
Phil is quick to point out this gem, which might be our favorite for most awful song ever:
Don't even get me started on the unknown rap song that Phil and I heard at a gas station in my hometown (another car was blasting it, not the gas station).
"Gonna lick your pussy like a Reese's Pieces."
WHAT? I don't even know how that applies.
So, my pets, what are your votes?
22 beautiful people muttered something back:
The Rain by Oran "Juice" Jones
OY.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQVUtcytaw8
This may date me, but surely few are worse than "Muskrat Love" by Captain n Tenielle
The 70's probably produced more plain stupid non-rap lyrics than any other decade.
For instance, there's "Horse With No Name", which is filled with dopey observations such as "After two days in the desert sun my skin began to turn red". All I can say is that the songwriter must've had one hell of a base tan.
Paris Hilton - Stars are blind, Akon - Smack That, The Hamster Dance, Eddie Murphy - Party all the time, Vanilla Ice - 5.0, Los Del Rios - Macarena.
Those are a few that I can think of, off the top of my head. There's a lot of bad music out there!
I cannot buh-LEEVE that people didn't realize Rob Halford was gay. Did they not see the video for that song? Or any other photo/video of Rob Halford, ever? He is the poster child for leather boys!
Anything that Celine Dion have done.
Anything that Ricky Martin have done.
Don't start me on Whitney Houston!!!!
My top two would be 'Come On, Eileen,' by Dexy's Midnight Runners, or 'Tainted Love,' by whomever did that piece of shit.
I stumbled upon that craptastic Honkytonk song on the radio a few weeks ago, and it has been an unwelcome earworm ever since, so thanks for the reminder. NOT.
Right said Fred's "I'm too sexy"--I'm probably in a minority here but I see no purpose in that song.
I agree 100% with Stephen's selections and add these. The evil part of me says that a gift of a cd of all the winners (err, losers) would make a lovely Christmas gift for your annoying relatives!
Survivor-Destiny's Child
Seasons in the Sun-Terry Jacks
Don't Wanna Fall in Love-Jane Child
Any Milli Vanilli song
I think that was enough torture for one night, don't you think?
When my childhood was tainted by rap song lyrics like "Shake Ya Tailfeather", "Chicken, chicken, chicken heads" and "Gimme that funk. That sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff" - it's a wonder that I made it through high school without popping a Costco-sized bottle of aspirin.
Has no one mentioned "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" on here? Ann-oy-ing.
Or Hanson "MMM Bop hdeebeedopbopdoowop"? Kill me.
Was no one else driven crazy by Chumbawamba's Tubthumpin' "I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again" or Aqua's "I'm a Barbie Girl, In a Barbie World"? Any song by the Spice Girls?
What about Eminem? WTF kind of lyric is "I ain't never seen an ass like that. The way you move it.
You make my pee-pee go doing-doing-doing"?
Summer Girls - LFO. "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick." Who the fark cares?
What about "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
There was a song called "Donkey Butt" that went something like "Gimme that donkey butt and them big ol' legs. I ain't too hard to beg. Ain't no shame in this game."
Okay, so I have to choose, though, right?
I s'pose my vote for worst song ever is My Ding-A-Ling.
When I was a little bitty boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling
Can it get worse than that?
Man! have I led a sheltered life. I haven't heard most of these and I can only say, "Thank you!" I think the worst song I remember listening is one I used to hear on the radio driving back and forth to work. I don't know the name of it or who sang it but she kept singing, "I'm hurrrrrrrrrrrrrt!" really gitting hard on that R. I was hurt listening to it. Thought my ears were gonna bleed.
And let the debate begin. I love "Come on Eileen," even with the video of Dexy's Midnight Runners dancing around in overalls. And I hate to admit it, but if you only hear it once or twice ever, "MMMMMMMMbop" is kind of catchy.
I just wanted to laugh with you that John has played at venues with Trace. Nice, right?
I am so PROUD. *cough*
Have you heard Heidi Montag's song "Fashion"?
Oh. my. gosh.
Lyrics, the short version:
HEIDI!
Ohhh Ohhh
La La La
We Love Designer
I am, I'm too fabu-lous
I'm so fierce that it's so nuts
I live, to be model thin
Dress me, I'm your manne-quin
J'adore Vivienne I really want. Pucci, Fendi, and Cardin. Valentino, Armani too. Madame love them Jimmy Choo
Fashion put it all on me
Don't you want to see these clothes on me
Fashion put it all on me
I am anyone you want me to be (2x)
Ohhhh Ohhhhh
La La La
We love designer
I need, some new stile-ttos
Can't walk, down the street in those
You are, who you wear it's true
A girl's just as hot as the shoes she choose
J'adore Weitzman I really want. Louis, Dolce Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, eh ou. Madame love those Minolo
Here's a fanvid to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vaUgGIX6xA
I want my 3 minutes back.
OMG - MacArthur Park by Donna Summer.
"Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it, 'cuz it took so long to bake it. And I'll never have that recipe again . . . " Seriously, WTF?
Others:
Feelings
I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meatloaf
I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Bad
And I have to agree with sueb0B on Muskrat Love.
That crazy frog song . . . I guess it was done after Axel Foley?
Check it out if you want to drive yourself NUTS: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axel_F_(Crazy_Frog_song)#Crazy_Frog_version
Karen Sugarpants - Don't make me go look. Damn it. I looked. It's his sweet dance moves that really solidify his song. Is he on tranquilizers?
suebob - As a child, I liked Captain & Tenielle and Barry Manilow. I've learned to rethink those choices.
Sarah O. - HA! Phil had a homeless guy follow him around downtown Austin while saying, "I'd like to sing you a little song called 'Horse With No Name', and it goes something like this." I wonder if it really brought in the dollars for his homeless needs.
Lyndon - See, now. My dedication to this blog means I actually go look up the songs. I might hate you a little for making me see that Paris Hilton video. Is she a chipmunk? What octave is she singing in? Also, I've never seen anyone get it on with a palm tree. Thank you, Paris.
Funny you mention Eddie Murphy. That's who I thought of when I watched that awful Oran "Juice" video above. *shudder*
Princess Consuela Bananahammock - I saw Rob Halford in concert once, during my big hair metal days. It really was sort of like being in a sadomasochistic gay club. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Stephen - Ah, now. I loved Ricky when he in Menudo. I spat in the face of Menudo when they dumped him. Again, though, that was the less tastefully refined childhood version of me. I don't go around wearing Menudo shirts anymore.
Peggasus - Ack! As Phil mentioned, we are quite fond of "Come On, Eileen." I like to do the stompy dance, especially if I'm wearing anything even remotely like suspenders, probably because I'm fond of silly dancing. "Tainted Love" as well? ARGH! You're killing me! Or, I am too fond of silly 80s songs. Either way. I'm glad we can agree on the honky tonk disaster. I guess if country music channels can come up with "Trick My Trailer" as a show or whatever that's called, then badonkadonk must surely follow.
Joyce-Anne - Woo. I'm with ya there. Although, that Right Said Fred song is one of those awful songs that is so tantalizing to sing with, at least, until someone clobbers you like a baby seal.
Suzanne - HA! I dressed as one of the Milli Vanilli for Halloween one year. Not sure who I was, Milli or Vanilli. It took forever to wash black hairspray out of my head. Ugh. How we suffer for our shenanigans!
Amanda - HAHAHA! I think I touched a nerve there with you. I'm sorry I conjured up so many bad song memories for ya. I had the displeasure of watching that tractor song video. Good grief. I'll take that giant bottle of aspirin now, thanks.
Eve - HA! I am torn whether I want to know what song that is or not. Sort of like watching a car wreck, maybe?
Phil "has me questioning things about him" - Um. Does anyone else feel my pain now that I realize that my husband admits to liking Hanson?
Sarcastic Mom - Hahaha! Poor John. He is in that country quagmire. The downside to a traveling musician, me thinks.
Cheekysweetie - Oh. My. God. First, I watched a snippet of some young guy who made a video of that song - in a serious way. HAHAHAHA. Good grief. "I nuyeed some stuh leh toes!"
Kimberly - HA! Can anyone seriously sing "Feelings" without sinking into a lounge lizard type persona? "Thank you, thank you very much. Try the veal."
Sometimes, I'd really like to know what it is that Meatloaf won't do.
Laskigal - Wasn't that frog driving people in the UK all crazy like The Beatles? I kinda wish that missile would hit the frog. I wonder if Harold Faltermeyer is pleased with the way they sampled his song from "Beverly Hills Cop."
Post a Comment