I know, I know. I've been absent. I lack excuses.
Various and asunder have occurred, but I haven't told you a darn thing. Shame on me. Did you know that Saturday was Amos' birthday? One whole year, people! Phil and I are floored that this wee being we created has been out and about for a whole year. Eventually, I will share pics and perhaps a few videos of the famous cake-smashing incident that all young toddlers must endure on that special day.
In the meantime, here are some items that I've pondered lately that may or may not get my goat. Enjoy.
- I have a love/hate relationship with my nails. I'm not a girly-girl, so I don't do the salon or the tips or the Lee Press-On Nails. Nope. I just trim and file. Sometimes, they become longer than usual. These are times when I am in the throes of dilemma. Why? Because I have the freak nails. You know, the ones that get all curly and funky when they get longer. Sorta like this guy. When the nails get to the point that they begin to curl around and threaten to become claws, I am enamored and equally disgusted by them. After all, who wouldn't want to strut about town showing off their enormous talons? Instead of painting a tiny American flag or a star on each nail, they would be long enough to cover in an entire mural depicting the Civil War. My personal favorite is the pinky nail depicting the burning of Atlanta.
- I'm concerned with Bigfoot. I want to know where this smelly skunk ape is hiding. Also, it is very satisfying to call someone a smelly skunk ape. Additionally, I get a kick out of the Bigfoot organization's acronym: BFRO.
- When cooking something with garlic, it is better to add it to chipotle noodles for extra kick or to the garlic penne for extra garlic pungency and power?
- If Bigfoot and a rhinoceros were to cross paths, who would win? What if the rhinoceros wore its bfro in a hightop fade?
12 beautiful people muttered something back:
Hey now, your nails are way longer than that guy in the picture. I don't know how you even managed to type this blog. I'm pretty sure people are calling you Bignails behind your back.
You didn't even mention that Amos got his first haircut. His bfro looks awesome!
My boys got their BFROs shaved off for the summer. Buzz cut style. I can't wait to see cake smashing pictures. Glad you are back on the blog. I've been having a hard time laughing lately, but not with you around!
My nails warp, too, but have never been anywhere near as long as that dudes.
Happy Birthday, Amos! I was thinking it was close to that time. Pictures, please. I love pictures of cake monsters!
Garlic and more garlic, especially if the one you're smooching is eating it, too.
In a bizarre DNA glitch, that BFRO would end up on the Rhinoceros' butt.
Happy birthday to Amos!
When it comes to garlic, the more the better :)
So you weren't joking when you said it was about nails.
Bigfoot kicks arse, you should go up in the mountains and look for him.
Happy Birthday Amos.
Happy First Birthday Amos!! Here's to making more milestones in your next year!
Glad to see you back! Your Bigfoot v. rhino question reminded me of this T-shirt: http://tinyurl.com/3kxfxm
Happy Birthday to Amos! Was it delicious beetcake? Yuuum.
I have Talon-nail just on each index finger. I usually keep all nails short but on occasion, Talon-nail strikes back. hmmm...I should have a mosaic-style portrait of the Justice League depicted on one talon. Maybe The Fantastic Four on the other. Talon-nail and the Legion of Doom. Coming soon to a theater near you.
When you talked about crossing a rhinoceros with Bigfoot, I thought you would come up with a beast with horns and really big feet. And you know what they say about guys with big feet... He would have really big... horns....
Phil "cooks a mean dinner" - The only reason my nails aren't as long as that guy's is because he reportedly has lived with hand paralysis for years due to his talons.
Haircut news will come soon.
Amy - I'm happy to create snorts from within you. Why haven't you joined my mob?
Suzanne - Yay for fellow warped nail people! Pictures and video have been posted.
I was actually trying to ask who would win in a cage match between Bigfoot and a rhinoceros, but a DNA cross between them is too hilarious to even imagine.
songsinblue - Indeed, more garlic is better, except if you are with someone who has not partaken of the garlic feast. Then, it is much like having someone breathe on you after eating Doritos. Blech.
Stephen - HA. You think I haven't been looking for Bigfoot already? I have Skunk Ape cameras posted all over Colorado!!
Joyce-Ann - Why, thank ya! Amos shakes his birthday booty for you.
Tiddleywink - HAHAHAHA! I really want that shirt.
Lisa from da block - Sorry you weren't invited to the birthday bash. You can blame Phil for that. Tell him to make a cake for you to make up for it.
I would very much like to see a Justice League mural on a freak nail.
innkeeper - Horns and big feet? Have you been snooping in my closet? Ooohh...
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