So, yes. I am not of sound mind. There, I said it. Why have I come to this conclusion?
I have a sunburn.
Not just any sunburn. No. Possibly the worst sunburn of all time, of all mankind. No person could possibly be more red, more in pain, and feel more sorry for themselves than me. Except for the people who tend to blister when they burn. Maybe except for those people.
Remember that long walk I took around the lake with Amos after running into the pedophile? Yeah. I had slathered up Amos with sunblock. Then, creepy loud pedophile guy was becoming loud again. That is when I was supposed to slather myself up as well, but I wanted to truck on out of there instead to get away from the creepy clutches of a guy who dresses like it's 1982 and still thinks that puppies make great child-catching lures.
So I burned like a rotisserie chicken.
Those of you who have had sunburns - and yes, I'm pointing at you and staring - may not have had the super-deluxe barn burner edition of sunburns that one receives in Denver. You sea-level creatures have it easy, while we citizens of the Mile High are exactly that: a mile high. A mile closer to the sun than sea level civilizations. And for that, we pay dearly with singed, smoked, seared, and pan-fried skin.
Also? Phil must die because he just slapped my arm after "forgetting" that I am maimed.
I sleep with my arms outside of the covers at night. I cringe and whine whenever clothing rubs against my skin. I am officially a walking bottle of Tylenol after taking so much of it. Go ahead. Chip at my face and lick it, and then tell me it doesn't taste like acetaminophen. You will fail.
Even Amos has learned about Mama's woes. He climbs all over me, then I yell, "Ow! Ouch! EEEEEEEEE!!!" Suddenly, Mama isn't so fun anymore. He stares at me with his big, bewildered eyes and shakes his head. Poor Amos.
Poor Amos? HA! Poor me.
Boohoo. Wah wah wah. Sniff.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Burn, baby, burn
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11 beautiful people muttered something back:
I'm actually somewhat surprised that the smoldering pile of ashes you've been reduced to was able to push the keys on the laptop to generate this blog. On the bright side, if another rogue trucker tears down the power lines in the neighborhood, we'll be able to get around the dark house using only the glow from your flesh.
I think I like Phil. That's a man with cohones. That said, there ARE some gels with Aloe Vera and topical anesthetic on the market that are really effective at a)moisturizing the skin and b) cutting the pain WAY down. Banana Boat comes to mind. I'm sure there are others, but a call to your friendly pharmacy will elicit the name of whatever similar stuff they may possess, I'm sure. Glow in that dark, eh? Gotta love that Phil.
Being one of those people who blisters when she burns, and also burns right through her clothes I have not as much sympathy for you as you would like. Take Lou's advice and get something moisturizing with a pain killer in it. And then don't ever do this again! I know it hurts, but this, too, shall pass. Then it will itch and peal.
Cool looong bath with tea bags in the water.
Don't come out until you look like a giant red-and-tea-stained prune.
Honest, you'll feel better.
As a redhead with the skin-so-fair, I'm suprised you haven't made SPF30 part of your morning routine, girl! Sunscreen is in most makeup/moisturizers now. You don't need to wait to slather - just make it part of your morning ritual de habitual, like toast & jam :)
Anti-inflammatory helps for the swelling, and aloe gel is the best thing ever invented.
I rode my bike at lunchtime on the same day as your park adventure and burned my upper arms in that bike-jersey-look that's so very fashionable. I like Alba lotion with SPF 15 in it. It's less nasty than sunscreen. But obviously, I don't put it on every day. I. am. a. dolt.
- Your formerly pasty white irish, now lobster-armed friend.
Yeah, I did that to myself camping last year. Florida+Fair Skin+No Sunscreen=Sun Poisoning.
Ouch.
ohhh OUCH! I feel your pain. I once got so sunburned I almost got heatstroke too. I literally looked like a lobster in colour and couldn barely move! Just before my last school exams too >_<
Ouch, sun burn is not something I experience too often (I hate the sun but thanks to my genes, I'll tan even under a straw hut); hubs is really fair. had a vicious burn, along with raccoon eyes after skiing a couple of weeks ago, and forgetting to slather his face.
Hope you're feeling better!
my fair skinned compadre, i feel for you.
mostly? if i burn super bad ( i HAVE had blisters, yuck), but mostly, if i try and take a shower to cool it out, it makes me itch. all over, my skin crawling. guess what you CANT scratch? sunburn.
oh and my hubby whacks me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I get a sunburn. arse. he forgets. he'll do it 12 times a day until I finally duck and run from him when he gets near. that's why i haven't had a burn in the last 2 or 3 years (knock on wood) because i carry sunscreen in my vehicle in case i need it.
Don't let the Greeblemonkey here of this. She will have your head. You obviously didn't read this... http://www.greeblemonkey.com/2008/03/fake-bake-thee-not.html
Also, my hubby was burned so bad once on the French Riveria that he blistered and peeled like 4 times an hour. He was too busy checking out the boobs to bother with SPF. I on the other hand was perfectly protected and enjoyed 4 days on the beach without him!
I am sorry for your pain tho. Pedophiles are scary...
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