The previous blog referred to another blog that I wrote a long time ago (back in the dark ages). So, for reference and hilarity, here it is.
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July 14, 2006
As is my way, whenever I come across something amusing, I like to share it with you. Today I received a SPAM from Flora Martinez. I didn't open it, although I was very tempted to do so. The title of Flora's e-mail:
pygmy flash card
Phil and I have been chuckling over this, discussing how much we would love to have a set of pygmy flash cards to help us identify and keep up with the various pygmy people.
"Here. Who is this?" *holds up card of naked pygmy woman with saggy tits*
"Uh. Juujumame. From the African tribe of BaBenzele?"
"Correct!"
Just another day in the Porter household...
10 beautiful people muttered something back:
Sure, this seemed funny back in ought-six, but we are now experts on the ways of pygmies and their many traditional gang signs.
And flash cards!? Hello!? That would totally be the best way to pass this knowledge on to Amos.
Phil's comment on gang signs made me remember your jokes about baby gang signs. As such, you must view this:
Baby Gang Signs, Yo
This blog made your google ads show 'Billy Bob Teeth Shop'.
Phil "I can almost see you behind that naked pygmy" - True. I can now identify all members of the pygmy tribes. It's not even a challenge anymore to name Menesobbe or Duequesagembo.
Lotus - HAHAHA! Braden could really teach a thing or two to Duequesagembo.
Veronica - What?! I'd really like to know what Billy Bob Teeth Shop is all about. Maybe he lost his teeth in the "pygmy canoe", which is the ad that I saw when I read your comment on here.
beats playing snap !!
Gareth - Uh. I'm not entirely sure what "snap" is, but I did find this mind-dulling yet engaging game on a UK website. Is this it?
During my years as a magician and illusionist in Bambuti operating under the name Rudy Bambuti I was doing a show for the Adamawa Fulani tribe and broke out my deck of Bambuti branded pygmy flash cards, fanned them out in front of their Shaman Matzyamakeetze and tongued clicked, "Pick a Buti any Buti." Unfortunately the Buti he picked was a naked caricature of his mother in a compromising pose with a Zebra which is the Adamawa Fulani's spirit animal. Distraught, Matzyamakeetze ordered I mate with every virgin female Buti in the Adamawa Fulani village to atone for my digression; as taking the virginity of a virgin Buti in the Adamawa Fulani culture is sin and a mark against you in the afterlife. Reluctantly I obliged and afterwards was banned from the village.
Gathen - Pick a Buti, any Buti? HAHAHA. I'm happy you were able to get this confession off of your chest.
What I really enjoy is that you did your Google homework in finding actual pygmy tribes to make fun of. Well done, sir.
Next time she contacts you, please order me a set. too funny.
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