Lie, lady, lie. Lie across my big, brass bed.

I had a discussion with Phil not so long ago about how to properly use the words lay and lie in conversation. I found Grammar Girl's explanation here, which really helps to bring it all back into confusing focus.

She brings up a good point. Poor Eric Clapton would have been slapped on the face in English class for his song "Lay Down Sally," because the literal meaning of that title is that he wants someone to pick up Sally and then put her down. Same goes for Mr. Zimmerman, aka Bob Dylan. He wrote "Lay, Lady, Lay," which is a great song. However, the proper way to talk his woman into flopping onto his big, brass bed would be to ask her to lie, lady, lie on his large mattress. Interesting, no? The flow is not quite the same.

Many times when I am writing my scathing blogs, I fret over my use of various words, tenses, and punctuation. One thing that tends to vex me is my effort to remember how to punctuate television shows, movies, songs, and albums. Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I recall in my learnin' days, I was taught that television shows should be presented within quotation marks, while movies should be in italics. Likewise, songs should be in quotation marks, albums in italics. So, if I were to blather on and on about how I love "The Office," I should also gush about my fondness for Knocked Up.

I try to remember the rules of grammar, but I'm not always successful. I did grow up mostly in Texas, you know, so I am sometimes plagued with y'all and ding dang and "I'm fixin' to take a walk." Ah, but did you see what I did just there? I put some words in italics and others in quotation marks. I'm Crazy Mix-Up Grammar Girl! Now give me some candy!

I suppose that as long as a few random readers can get the gist of what I'm trying to say, then I'm not doing too bad (too badly? ARGH!). Besides, one of my fondest "girls' night out" memories is joking with a friend about how cute a female waitress was, and I muttered under my breath, "Lay, lady, lay." And then we all howled and chuckled and snorted. Proper grammar gets in the way of a good joke sometimes.

Ain't that the ding dang truth, y'all.